Distressing Events
by Hajiscello
Summary: A new shinigami appears to Mayuri, with unknown motives. What will happen? I don't know either. No pairings as of yet
1. prologue

**This first chapter is really short I know, but the others will be longer. Mayuri is the main character, though the other characters will get appearaces too.**

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Mayuri Kurotsuchi had better things to do than walk around seireitei for no particular reason, but he found himself doing just that. Why? Because he'd pulled an all-nighter and had fallen asleep in the morning. Why did this make him go for a walk? Because Shunsui decided to barge in at that time and told him to get to work. Mayuri didn't like being told what to do, so he decided he would slack off for the day. What he didn't comprehend was the fact that Shunsui was just kidding and actually had something very important to give him from Yamamoto.

Mayuri walked down the streets of the city with absolutely no clue where he was going and soon found himself hopelessly lost.

_Crap,_ he thought bitterly, trying to backtrack his steps. He looked around. Nothing seemed familiar. Just then a chibi Kisuke appeared in his head. Where this chibi came from was beyond him but now it was idly fanning himself and humming. _Get the bloody heck out of my head!_ He thought angrily. Much to his chagrin, the small Kisuke smiled at him.

"But if I do that you'll be lost in the endless maze of the seireitei forever, Mayuri~chan," He chortled. Mayuri snarled at it out loud only to earn a chuckle from the nuisance. "There's a simple way to get back, Yuri-chan."

_It's Mayuri! Ma-yu-ri! _He stated angrily in his head. The chibi shrugged.

"What's one syllable to friends, Mari-sama?"

"JUST SHUT UP!" He finally screamed, a vein popping out on his head ominously.

"But I haven't said anything yet," An unfamiliar voice replied in Kisuke's place. He focused his eyes and saw a young woman standing before him. She had dark hair and piercing eyes that reminded him of a certain eighth division fuku-taichou. He blinked a few times and searched the inside of his head, but all signs of the miniature ex-captain had disappeared. He sighed in relief before turning to the woman.

"What do you want, Woman?" He snarled. She remained totally unaffected by his tone and pulled out a map.

"Where can I find a Mr. Kurotsuchi Mayuri taichou?" He blinked.

"Right here..."

"What?"

"I'm Kurotsuchi..." She blinked.

"Nice to meet you,"


	2. Yamino and Reno

**I know it's been a very long time, but I had a lot of things to do. I'll try to update faster from now on.**

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"Kurotsuchi!!!" Mayuri spun around away from the woman. Behind him a blonde man with a buzz-cut followed a very unhappy looking Zaraki Kenpachi. The man behind him caught up just as Kenpachi skidded to a halt in front of Mayuri.

"Yo, Kurotsuchi, is there a weird person trying to find you, 'cause that's what this guy said." The spiky haired shinigami said grabbing the man who was referred to as 'this guy' and held him in the air for Mayuri's inspection.

"Yes there has, her." Mayuri replied nonchalantly pointing to the dark haired lady. A vein popped out in her forehead.

"KORA, RENO!" She yelled pointing a threatening finger at the blonde being dangled by Kenpachi. "Did you tell him I'm weird!?" Reno's eyes turned into frightened circles.

"I may have... uh, ...said something to that effect..." She glared at him.

"Good, I'm glad you straightened that out before I actually met the man." Reno sighed in relief, but the woman put on an evil smile. "But I don't think Sayumi will feel the same way as I do about it," Reno shrieked and flinched. Kenpachi dropped him.

"My question," He started stepping closer to the woman. "Is who the bloody hell are you people?"

"Oh, us?" The shinigami asked. "We're new shinigami that Urahara Kisuke (*Mayuri flinches*) helped awaken. We had lotsa spiritual energy when we were alive and when we died, he just kinda told us what to do and we did it. It was really easy actually." Mayuri and Kenpachi stared at her disbelievingly. It had been at least a little of a challenge for the two of them to transform. She caught their expressions. "What's wrong? Oh, yeah, you don't know my name yet. I'm Yamino, that's Reno, and the third member of our trio is Sayumi, but she went of somewhere else to look for a guy named Kyouraku Shunsui." Mayuri blinked.

"Why are you looking for us anyway?" Yamino shrugged.

"Kisuke told us to go find some old guy and then he told us to find you three." Reno nodded vigorously as he went over to stand next to Yamino. "He told us to give these letters to you." Both handed an envelope to their respective captain, who opened and read them in synch.

"WHAT!! No bloody way!" Mayuri cried. Kenpachi picked Reno up again and looked at him closely. Reno gulped.

"I can't. I'd rather drown myself." He stated bluntly. Yamino stared expectantly.

"Can't what?" She asked, ignoring Mayuri as he furiously ripped up the envelope. Zaraki looked away from Reno.

"We're supposed to train you idiots."

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**This one wasn't as humorous as the first, but the chibis will return, I promise. **


End file.
